Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Let's Talk Pumpkin Spice

She's back, and better than ever!

Or rather - She's back, and rocking a part-time job while she works on the whole writing thing.

But enough about me. Let's talk about something that everyone can enjoy. Pumpkin spice, amirite? It's everywhere!

But for real, it's everywhere. Like... an absurd amount of pumpkin spiced items.

Half of the pumpkin spice stuff you see in stores looks disgusting, and half of it looks amazing. How is a person supposed to know what's good and what's not? Who has the money to buy it all and try it out?! Not this girl.

And yet, I'm going to do it anyway. I feel it's a good use of my limited income.

Every day in October, I will take it upon myself to try a different pumpkin spiced item and let you know what you should buy, and what you can probably pass on.

Last year I tried to do this exact same thing. But as it turned out, my body was not willing. It all started with me fainting during a blood test and ended with my doctor congratulating me for having Western European heritage. As these things so often do.

Long story short, in 2013 I was forbidden to eat unhealthy food for the entire month of October. So by the time winter came around, I was left with a tub of uneaten pumpkin spice cream cheese, a bag of moldy pumpkin bagels, and a regret that I had let the fall season slip through my fingers. NEVER AGAIN. So allow me to introduce:

The Great Pumpkin Spice Countdown

I'm working on a better name for this, but you would be shocked at how difficult it is to come up with good pumpkin puns, or to slip the word "pumpkin" into anything. Various eliminated options included:

1. Pumkingeddon
2. Armapumpkin
3. The Pumpkin Spice Season: Quetzalcoatl's Revenge
4. Release the Pumpken! (It's a Kraken reference. GET IT?)
5. Squashtober

Actually I already prefer Squashtober. Let's go with that. I'm changing it up.

The Great Pumpkin Spice Squashtober Spice Countdown

Hm... Maybe not? I'm open to better ideas.

Some of the things I plan to eat/drink this month:

1. Pumpkin spice Milano cookies
2. Pumpkin spice marshmallows
3. Pumpkin flavored vodka. To be drunk while I watch "Hocus Pocus" for the first time.
4. Pumpkin flavored beers. Not sure which ones. Don't know which are best. Will figure out later.
5. Pumpkin Spice Oreos. Yes they exist.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of disgusting food to buy.