Well everyone, I finally figured how to make my own gifs. I feel like a new woman. Before today I was like an infant, suckling at the Tumblr teat.
Oof. That metaphor just got real. Or was it a simile? Pretty sure metaphor. This is why I should not speak beyond my knowledge base. I know just enough to be able to tell someone that they're wrong, but not enough to explain what is right.
Just like Congress, amirite? Oh yes, my friend. This blog just went political.
My inability to define rhetorical devices is also why I almost never say that something is ironic. I maintain that no one really knows what irony is. Maybe Socrates. When I try to use irony, I almost always end up pulling an Alanis Morissette, embarrassing myself on the world stage. It's ironic that everything in the song Ironic isn't ironic.
Where in sweet baby Jesus's name was I before I derailed myself?
I was tired of having to comb through the interwebs for the appropriate gif for a blog post. Mostly because my particular palate is: movies that nobody else seems to remember and also, Muppets.
So may I present: Ten gifs that I've been meaning to make and now I finally have.
WARNING. I still have not learned all the tricks to shrinking the file size of my gifs. I'll get to that. So if you're hoping to steal them directly from here... you've been warned. Also if anyone wants to help a sister out, leave a comment letting me know how it's done. I dipped a toe in Internet gif forums and I don't care to return.
1. Meryl Streep - Doubt
Oh, do you not remember this 2008 blockbuster hit? I'm not sure who I convinced to see this with me, but I know that they probably regretted it. Mostly because for the next week every single conversation went like this:
Unsuspecting friend #1: Hey Hannah, what should we get for dinner, pizza or Chinese food?
Me: I don't know. I have... SUCH DOUBTS.
Unsuspecting friend #2: Lorelei Gilmore totally belongs with Luke. Christopher is just toying with her.
Me: How can you be so certain? I have... SUCH DOUBTS.
2. Lucille Bluth's wink
3. Mindy Kaling's head shake
Kelly Kapoor telling Ryan that she was pregnant and then cutting to this head shake is possibly my very favorite moment on The Office.
4. NPH loves the air
This bit is adorable. But it turns out it doesn't translate well to gif-form. Would have been better as still pictures. You live, you learn.
5. Peter Dinklage - Shut it down.
You know. As sisters do.
6. To Industry! - Jason Segel
Thankfully I have no immediate business plans.
7. Bean Bunny gets hit with a wreath.
If you've listened to the director's commentary on Muppet Christmas Carol like I have, you would find out that the muppeteers love to beat up Bean Bunny. And I love watching it.
8. Lenny kisses cutout - That Thing You Do!
The rest of these gifs are all That Thing You Do related.
9. Tom Hank's victory punch - That Thing You Do!
I don't think I have anything to add to this.
10. Girl has emotional breakdown -That Thing You Do!
Back when I was watching this movie on VHS while sitting on a shag rug and gazing up at my poster of Duran Duran (what the hell decade am I referring to?) I was able to rewind it back to this point and show it to my family over and over again as I rolled around on the floor, laughing at this woman's expression. Like... did she know the camera was on her? Was she just an unpaid extra? Did she go to the theater, see this and think, "I've finally done it! I've hit it big! I am... sobbing teenager."
Finally and most importantly, when he is 85 years old and on his deathbed will Tom Hanks watch this video in his final seconds? And as the clip ends, and the girl's face fades to black will he place a gnarled hand on Rita Wilson's face and gently whisper, "It's done. It's done now."
I like to think he will.