Is it tacky? Is it awesome? No one knows. But it's crazy popular. If you try to order a gold iPhone online, it won't even ship until October. Of course, the black and white models will ship in 7-10 business days. But really, who’s going to buy black and white models? Peasants? Please. Gold means exclusivity and wealth.
And nothing says exclusive like buying the color that everyone else wants, too.
So who's going to be buying these new golden iPhones once they're available? My predictions:
1. Your male friend who wears a down coat with a furry hood.
If he wears a thumb ring, it's almost guaranteed.
2. Macklemore
1. Every cast member of the now-defunct "Jersey Shore"
Because a gold iPhone is classy. Like ordering a tequila sunrise.
4. Ironic hipsters
"It's only cool because I know that it's not cool and I acknowledge it."
5. A parent – on accident
You go back and visit your parents and discover one of them has somehow accidentally bought a gold iPhone.
“This was the only one available online!” They’ll insist, “I don’t even care what color I have!”
Anyone remember these bad boys?
Oh yes. The ol’ iPhone mini. The most coveted Christmas Present of 2002. And I was lucky enough to be given one by my parents. But this was no ordinary iPod mini (As if there was ever such a thing. Am I right, 7th grade Hannah?) IT WAS GOLD.
Did you know that Apple made gold iPod MINIs? Neither did anyone else who saw my iPod. Ever. When I brought it to the Apple store, the genius bar people would flock to my side. They insisted that they hadn't sold them in store and wondered where I got it.
And yet when questioned, my parents they just shrugged and said it was just one of the color choices.
I DON’T KNOW WHERE MY PARENTS GOT THAT IPOD. I have not yet eliminated the idea they they found a black market dealer on the mean streets of the Chicago suburbs.
I would not be surprised if I came home to my dad holding a gold iphone, insisting that this was the only color left in this mysterious apple store that is evidently bankrolled exclusively by my mother and father.
6. Your friend who is too embarrassed to admit that they bought it
You know. The one who insists that they ordered the black one but dude, Apple sent them this one. And what do you want them to do? Do you want them to send it back? And go through the hassle? With all their non-existent spare time? Nah, bro. They’ll just keep it and deal with it even though it’s so lame right?
7. Any mom who emulates Amy Poehler in Mean Girls.
8. Girls who watch Pretty Little Liars
And aren’t ashamed of it.
9. Guys whose favorite TV show is Entourage and favorite movie is Boondocks Saints
It’s a very specific subset.
10. Maybe me. And probably a lot of people
It's shiny! It's new! And people are tired of getting a new iPhone that looks exactly like their old one. Can’t really fault them for that.
Am I going to buy it? Am I going to buy it?!? Yeah, maybe. I mean I know it’s just going to be covered by a case, but… it’s gold. It’s gold and it’s shiny.
I make no guarantees.
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