Oh yes. I made that. Prepare yourselves for a better world. A world in which I express every emotion through stop-motion TV/Movie Clips. Can't wait.
But this post isn't about my incredible GIF talents (By the way, is the "G" in GIF pronounced like the 'g' sound in "gun" or the 'g' sound "jelly?" You know what I mean? Like a hard "G" or a soft "G?" If anyone gets what I'm talking about, lemme know.)
This post is about how much I despise that Capital One Commercial starring Alec Baldwin. Or should I say: Alec Baldwin & his creepy twin/doppleganger/clone. You can see the whole commercial here.
I love Alec Baldwin. I really do. That's what makes this so difficult. I don't want to tear down a commercial that he's starring in... but that commercial sucks so hard that I have to.
To begin: Why are there two Alec Baldwins in the first place? Are they twins? Are they just two guys that happen to look like each other? Are they just discovering each other's existence? Why is no one more confused by this? The customers just see the two of them and are like "oh yeah. Two identical Alec Baldwins. Obvi.
I get that they are promoting the "double miles" card so he's like a "double Alec" but you can't just... make things up. The audience needs to be able to follow the story line or they'll disengage.
"shhh... I'm rehearsing for a role"
WHAT? Who is? You are? Okay so the Alec on the right is the real Alec Baldwin and the waiter is just some guy... who looks exactly like Alec Baldwin for some reason. And the real Alec Baldwin chose to follow him around to rehearse a role as a waiter. Because being a waiter is so far beyond the grasp of Alec's imagination.
Oh by the way, waiter Alec is really good at chalk drawing for no reason. THREE ALECS, LOLZ.
This is the only redeeming quality about the commercial. That's Sue Holloway, the woman who plays Sue on 30 Rock. I like seeing them together in this terrible commercial.
So then non-Alec (or is he the real Alec?) rips a menu in half for no reason and the real Alec (?) looks over at him all "Oh, YOU! I can't go anywhere with this guy, amiright?" Except... WHAT!? So okay do you know each other then? Are you the same person? You act like you two spend lots of time together by the way you treat each other. So... yes?
Waiter Alec: "Cover for me, I have an audition."
So he's also an actor, presumably. And now he needs his twin, the other Alec Baldwin, to cover for him. What does this have to do with ANYTHING? Is it funny? No. Does it add to the storyline? No. WHY. IS. IT. HERE.
And finally, we have Alec looking into the camera like, "THAT guy. What are we gonna do with that guy? He's so crazy."
Except that he's you! You are him! Assuming that you are somehow doubles of each other. Or twins. Or clones. Are you two friends? No one knows.
This commercial is both unfunny and illogical. So obviously it gets played during every commercial break. If one more episode of Parks and Rec gets interrupted by the two Alecs I'm going to put my foot through my computer screen.
And that's all I have to say about that.
(two Tom Hanks references in one blog post = an excellent blog post)
To leave this on an awesome note:
It only gets better from here, people