Wednesday, March 28, 2012

sPrING BrEaK!!

Hi-ho, everyone.

It's that magical time of year. Spring is in the air and all the cool kids are headed down to Panama City Beach or Miami or Stone Mountain, Georgia or whatevs whatevs. You know... the hot spots.

 I will not be going to those places. Those places sound like the worst. It is a hassle getting down there, AND I have to make sure that my body is in good enough shape that I don't weep a single tear when I put on a bikini? Yeah... no thank you. I will skip that swimsuit and instead continue eating entire boxes of Lucky Charms a-thank you very much. 


And there's something about the attitude in those places. It's just... how do I describe it? Everyone is trying to cram as much fun in at ALL TIMES because they don't want to be that one group of friends that isn't having as much fun as the other group of friends. 

Here's the dialogue I imagine:

"Great Scott, does that group have a beach ball? Andre! Get me a beach ball, immediately! He's putting it under his shirt like he's pregnant. It's funny, because he's a guy! He can't have children. Andre do you get their joke?! They're having more fun than us. I can feel it. DAMMIT ANDRE. WHERE. IS. MY. BEACH. BALL."

I think I would be under a lot of pressure to have fun. 

I'm not saying that it isn't a fun time. It probably is. In fact, I'm sure it is. But I feel about "cool" spring breaks the same way I feel about raves, cooking things from scratch and ironing my clothes:

That's a lot of hassle. 

Instead! I am travelling to the Great White North. That's right. Canada. Quebec and Toronto, to be exact. I know what you're thinking, "Hannah, Canada is a pretty far drive too. And you're travelling internationally. Isn't THAT even more hassle than Florida?"

Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: Shut uppa yo' face.

In the words of Homer Simpson: "Canada? Why would I want to leave America just to visit AmericaJr.?"

Short answer: I don't know.
Long answer: Last name, beeswax. First name, none o' ya. 

I plan on looking fashionable and using my three phrases of French that I learned in Belgium. This is going to prove problematic BECAUSE:

I only wish my hair was long enough, because then I would wear it in the Canadian fashion.

Oh you better BELIEVE I would rock it. No one believes me that this is a hair trend. I will get photos. Then you'll see. YOU'LL ALL SEE.

In conclusion,

Canada. Not just for Canadians anymore. 

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