Sunday, January 8, 2012

Damn! We're in a tight spot.

*Disclaimer: I know I promised the three of you who are reading this that I would post about grammar first, but I honestly can't stop analyzing George Clooney. So this needs to be said.*

For the last couple of years, I’ve had a sneaking suspicion. It’s been growing since I first laid eyes on Ocean’s Eleven (2001) and my feelings were confirmed as soon as I stepped out of The Descendants last night. I really dislike George Clooney.

Hello, sailor

He only has two characters. One is the clowning around, good-time guy with a bit of a mysterious past. Examples: Ocean’s Eleven (…and Ocean’s Twelve. Hell, lets throw Ocean’s Thirteen in there too), Oh Brother Where Art Thou, Burn After Reading.

The other character is the more serious, yet still mysterious, man with a chip on his shoulder. He has something to prove or some part of his life that must be filled. Examples: Up in the Air, The Descendants, The Ides of March.

And both of these characters bother me. Apparently they bother him, too. He told the LA Times that he enjoys seeing himself on screen less and less. I’m right there with you, George old pal.

Most importantly, Clooney’s version of Batman is the only Batman with nipples. In his armor suit, that is. I’m sure all the Batmen had nipples. Regardless, he had purposeless nipples (side note, “purposeless nipples” would make a good band name) in his armor suit.

His eyes say no, but his nipples…

 HA! Ha ha ha…. haaaaaa. Why? Why George?! It’s never NOT funny.

I’m just going to go ahead and add ol’ George to my list of celebrities that I have ill feelings towards.

Celebrities I dislike that everyone else loves
-Ryan Reynolds
-Lady Gaga                                   
-Cameron Diaz
-Drew Barrymore
-Scarlett Johansson
-George Clooney

This post was pretty aggressive against Clooney. Anyone want to disagree? Or tell me about a celebrity that you think I should add to my list? 


  1. DISAPPEARING COMMENTS?! Why is the internet deleting things I write??

    Anyway, all I said is that I'm totally with you on the Diaz and the Barrymore, although I never considered Clooney. With Drew Barrymore, I used to love her (hence seeing Ever After 5 times in the theater), and then I got older and realized what a good actress is...and how she isn't one.

  2. I'm glad we share a hatred for Lady Gaga.

  3. Totes agreed about Rhianna, but I have to disagree with you and Fiskars about Gaga. Love her. Number one on my dislike list is Anne Hathaway, hands down.

  4. I kind of like Anne Hathaway. Mostly because she manages to have ENORMOUS facial features, and still be pretty. Huge eyes, huge nose, huge ears, huge mouth.

  5. I get what your saying about Clooney being type-casted as the "Every Man" character. I think he's like Matt Damon.You're never gonna think of them as the fictional character they're playing, you think, "Here's George Clooney, doin' this."